Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
by Wilferd A. Peterson
Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.
A good marriage must be created.
In the art of marriage the little things are the big things...
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted;
the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,
it should continue through all the years.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude
of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation
and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience,
understanding and a sense of humour.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal,
dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.
It is discovering what marriage can be, at its best.
- by Wilferd Arlan Peterson (long version)
These questions, as your wedding vow?
Groom: Yes, I will answer right now
Your questions as my wedding vow.
Pastor: Will you take her as your wife?
Will you love her all your life?
Groom: Yes, I take her as my wife,
Yes, I'll love her all my life.
Pastor: Will you have, and also hold
Just as you have at this time told?
Groom: Yes, I will have, and I will hold,
Just as I have at this time told,
Yes, I will love her all my life
As I now take her as my wife.
Pastor: Will you love through good and bad?
Whether you're happy or sad?
Groom: Yes, I'll love through good and bad,
Whether we're happy or sad,
Yes, I will have and I will hold
Just as I have already told,
Yes, I will love her all my life,
Yes, I will take her as my wife!
Pastor: Will you love her if you're rich?
Or if you're poor, and in a ditch?
Groom: Yes, I'll love her if we're rich,
And I will love her in a ditch,
I'll love her through good times and bad,
Whether we are happy or sad,
Yes, I will have, and I will hold
(I could have sworn this has been told!)
I promise to love all my life
This woman, as my lawful wife!
Pastor: Will you love her when you're fit,
And also when you're feeling sick?
Groom: Yes, I'll love her when we're fit,
And when we're hurt, and when we're sick,
And I will love her when we're rich
And I will love her in a ditch
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold
Ten years from now a thousandfold,
Yes, I will love for my whole life
This lovely woman as my wife!
Pastor: Will you love with all your heart?
Will you love till death you part?
Groom: Yes, I'll love with all my heart
From now until death do us part,
And I will love her when we're rich,
And when we're broke and in a ditch,
And when we're fit, and when we're sick,
(Oh, CAN'T we get this finished quick?)
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold,
And if I might now be so bold,
I'll love her my entire life,
Yes, I WILL take her as my wife!
Pastor: Then if you'll take her as your wife,
And if you'll love her all your life,
And if you'll have, and if you'll hold,
From now until the stars grow cold,
And if you'll love through good and bad,
And whether you're happy or sad,
And love in sickness, and in health,
And when you're poor, and when in wealth,
And if you'll love with all your heart,
From now until death do you part,
Yes, if you'll love her through and through,
Please answer with these words:
Pastor and Groom: I DO!
Pastor: You're married now! So kiss the bride,
But please, do keep it dignified.
to join with you and to share all that is to come, to be your faithful husband/wife,
to give and to receive, to speak and to listen, to inspire and to respond;
a commitment made in love, kept in faith, and eternally made new.
I, ______, take you, _______, to be my partner in life. I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever. I will trust you and honor you. I will love you faithfully through the best and the worst, through the difficult and the easy. Whatever may come, I will always be in there for you. As I have given you my hand to hold, so I give you my life, so help me God.
Inasmuch as ____________ and ____________ have declared their love to each other before family and friends, I now greet them with you as husband and wife.
You may kiss.
Rings: (Choose from these or compose your own.)
- "With this ring I thee wed."
- "With this ring I pledge my love."
- "With this ring I pledge my commitment."
- "With this ring I pledge my love and commitment."
Friday, May 8, 2009
Wedding Vows: Nondenominational Wedding Vows
"______, will you take ______ to be your wife/husband? Do you commit yourself to her/his happiness and self-fulfillment as a person? Do you promise to love, honor, and trust her/him in sickness and in health, in adversity and prosperity, and to be true and loyal to her/him so long as you both shall live?"
"______, I promise to be faithful, supportive, and loyal and to give you my companionship and love throughout all the changes of our life. I vow to bring you happiness, and I will treasure you as my companion. I will celebrate the joys of life with you. I promise to support your dreams, and walk beside you offering courage and strength through all endeavors. From this day forward, I will be proud to be your wife/husband and your best friend."
"I choose you, ______, to be my wife/husband, as my friend and love. On this day I affirm the relationship we have enjoyed, looking to the future and to keep and strengthen it. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph. Together, we will dream, and live as one while respecting one another, we will stumble but restore each other, we will share all things. I will cherish, comfort, and encourage you, be open with you, and stay with you as long as I shall live."
"I, ______, take you ______, for my wedded wife/husband from this day forward, to have and to hold as equal partner in my life, to whom I give my deepest love and devotion. I humbly open my heart to you as a sanctuary of warmth and peace, where you may come and find a refuge of love and strength. I will love you enough to risk being hurt, trust you when I don't understand, weep with you in heartache, and celebrate life with you in joy. I will receive you as my equal throughout all of our days."-- From Bill Swetmon, ordained nondenominational minister
"Today, ______, I take you to be my wife/husband.
I make a commitment to you today:
With God's help I will love and serve,
Honor, and protect you.
I'm choosing today
to spend the rest of my life with you.
I will walk with you when life is good,
and thru every storm.
______, you are a gift to me from God.
I hope others see His heart and love,
in the way I care for you.
Today, I pledge my love to you."
-- Written by Marianne Williamson, modified by Annemarie Juhlian, Wedding Celebrant
"With this ring,
I give you my promise that from this day forward,
you shall not walk alone.
May my heart be your shelter
And my arms be your home.
May God (Spirit) bless you always.
May we talk together through all things.
May you feel deeply loved, for indeed you are.
May you always see your innocence in my eyes.
I give you my heart.
I have no greater gift to give.
I promise I shall always do my best.
I feel so honored to call you my husband/wife
I feel so pleased to call you mine.
May we feel this joy forever.
I thank God (Spirit).
I thank you and I love you."
"You, ______, and you, ______, having come to me signifying your desire to be formally united in marriage, and being assured that no legal, moral, or religious barriers hinder this proper union, please join your hands and give heed to the questions now asked you.
"______, in taking the woman whom you hold by the right hand to be your lawful and wedded wife, do you promise to love and cherish her, to honor and sustain her, in sickness as in health, in poverty as in wealth, and to be true to her in all things until death alone shall part you?"
"Do you so promise?"
"______, in taking the man whom you hold by the right hand to be your lawful and wedded husband, do you promise to love and cherish him, to honor and sustain him, inï¿½sickness as in health, in poverty as in wealth, and to be true to him in all things until death alone shall part you?"
"Do you so promise?"-- From Reverend Ben Brauer
Other nondenominational options:
"I, ______, take you, ______, to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us."
"______, I take you as my wife/husband, with your faults and your strengths, as I offer myself to you with my faults and my strengths. I will help you when you need help, and turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life."
Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be the shelter for each other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be the warmth for the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before. Go now to your dwelling place to enter into the days of your life together. And may your days be good and long upon the earth.
Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficulty and fear assail your relationship - as they threaten all relationships at one time or another - remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong. In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives - remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there. And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight